On The Fire

Have you ever had so much going on in your life, you didn’t even know where to start when someone asks “How’s it going?”? That is mine right now. Fall is just around the corner brining with it the daunting task so named: school. My husband and I have made the decision to Homeschool our children. What were we thinking!? I’m not fully sure we were in our right minds when we decided to take on this mission but the first day of school is tomorrow. No time to turn back now. Literally, I checked.

On top of school I have decided this is the year to throw myself into volunteer work at church, teaching every Sunday and Wednesday this Fall/Winter. I have taught every Wednesday in the AWANA program before and have a God given heart for it. This is something I feel passionate and sure of. I added teaching on Sundays because there was a need and I felt God was directing me to this. It is A LOT of work though and can make anyone pause and wonder “What on Earth was I thinking?”. As a mother of toddlers I often think about how nice it was when things were simpler. When the answer for “Why do you have a fever?” was “Because I’m just on the fire.”. This was the answer my 3 year old gave when I asked. Obviously, I mean why else would you have one? Simple days and simple times, not trying to juggle learning and teaching 9 different lessons in a week.

Not going to lie I have had a more than a few breakdown moments where I feel like I can’t do this and I should just quit before I start. However, this is my flesh talking, venting, and complaining. My spirit is telling me something very different. It is whispering, “I have you, I’m here and I will help you”. Even now as I am typing about how afraid I am of this coming year and all of the things I have committed to I can feel myself calming. A sense of peace is filling me and giving the confident feeling this is exactly what I should be doing. I haven’t bit off more than I can chew because I am never alone. God is with me and will give me the strength to follow His plan. Not to say I won’t need the support and help from my Husband/Partner in life, but the anxiety that would overtake me no longer has power. This is going to be a good year.