A Week Away

“Every once in a while, somebody finds out they’re just a week away from an experience that changed everything for them.” ~ A Week Away

Honestly, I am not sure what this post is going to be about; but I have a strong desire to write about how I have felt these last few days. I am a very selfish person, though I didn’t always know this about myself. Becoming a mother has revealed so many things I either didn’t know or had tried to ignore/justify to myself before. In fact I have never honestly admitted this aloud to anyone before. I have spent weeks and months cranky, grumpy, angry and feeling sorry for myself. Good days were so rare and still tainted with angry outbursts at my family for their wrong doings. It was exhausting and disappointing. I didn’t know what to do about this horrible hole I was digging myself into. Thinking about it now I can see where everything started to change.

My dad is the greatest dad I know. He is not perfect and has admitted to me, times before, where he had shortcomings. He has always been honest with me even when I did not like the truth. This particular time was a few weeks ago. He gave me the truth about my church attending habits and at the time I honestly felt as though He was right but I couldn’t change. His words, however, never left my mind or heart.

Weeks later, I am home trying to relax after a fun day out with my sisters. I find a movie about a troubled teen who is forced to attend a Christian summer camp for a week. Being a fan of movies with noticeable character development I decided to give the movie a try. In the film the main character finds where he belongs and how simple faith in God makes all the difference in how he views life. The uplifting theme of the movie in addition with some amazing songs spurred me to look for some of the Christian CDs that had filled my childhood.

Music is one of my languages and I hear God talk to me through it often. This was no exception. God’s love, mercy and Spirit filled me in a way I have not felt in too long. I am full of renewed desire to chase after this Joy through Christ. When the Bible says Joy is a fruit of the Spirit it doesn’t mean all good things all the time. It means a joy and happiness fills you and will help you through the hard times. (This was also a major point in the church service a couple weeks ago) You see what God did there!? I do and I pray God will help me keep this fire stoked and raging for Him. A life of true and lasting Joy is much preferred over a life of wishing I could get what I want from people.